When a child appears in a family, the familiar family routine collapses. If you are tormented by such doubts, then a list of tips for raising children will help you.
10. Set rules and don't forget to follow them yourself
To begin with, think about what your child will be allowed and what will not. After all, all parents are different, respectively, and the rules that they establish will also be different. But do not forget to demonstrate their implementation by your own example. You can’t forbid something to the child, and then do it before his eyes. You forbid the child to watch TV, and you stare at it for hours. You teach him to treat your animals well, and you kick the cat, which is getting under your feet. Children love to repeat, they do what they see. Therefore, first of all, monitor your behavior, and then already how the child behaves.
9. Punishment - a manifestation of love
Few want to punish a child, even if he is very guilty. But you need to remember that when punishing him, parents show love. This is the only way to grow a good person. If no punishment is applied, the child will live in an atmosphere of permissiveness. From a child, he will turn into a teenager for whom parents are not an authority. He’s used to everything. At this stage, such a child may have big problems. Learn to punish your child. Physical abuse is, of course, unacceptable. For young children, the kindergarten "high chair" method is applicable. The child is sitting on a chair, he is thinking about his behavior. Many parents deprive the child of entertainment due to misconduct, but this is also a moot point. You can not punish a child with a lack of communication, ignore him.
8. Do not be afraid to refuse
Mom and dad love their child so much that from childhood they let him whatever he wants. These are the most expensive toys and bullying a cat. Wanted to paint on the wallpaper? Let him draw, because they had been waiting for him for so long, and all the same, repairs need to be done. As a result, the child will not understand the prohibitions. Yes, yes, and when the parents make repairs, he will continue to paint on the wallpaper. Therefore, do not be afraid to refuse. The child must know what is "no." But watch your emotions. No need to scream or raise your voice. When refusing, be sure to explain why not. And don't change your mind. The child simply does not understand why before his drawings on the wallpaper pleased mom and dad, but now they scold him for it.
7. Do not be too strict
Do not be too strict. Still, do not forget that this is a child. Some are so keen on “upbringing” that they require the child to have high academic results, an ideal order in the room, and write him down in numerous circles and sections. And if the child does not justify their results, they are angry and punish him. You can not endlessly pull the child, show him too high demands, scream, humiliate him. Everything is good in moderation, do not let your child get too much, but do not treat him with excessive severity.
6. Try to explain everything
From a very young age, explain to your child how the world works. So you will help him get to know the world around him. Talk about your actions, he will get used to the fact that at any moment he can get an answer from you on a question he is interested in. There will be trust between you, you will find a common language. Then you can explain your prohibitions in the same way, and the child will understand what you require of him. Never dismiss his questions. If a child’s question took you by surprise, then honestly admit to him that you don’t know the answer, but you will definitely know. Develop the child's curiosity, so you will not kill the craving for knowledge in him.
5. Do not deprive yourself of the right to rest
Some parents feel obligated all the time when a child appears in the family. Their whole life revolves around him. But everyone needs a rest, and dad and mom are no exception. Otherwise, they will experience emotional burnout. Do not forget that you are a person, that you have a husband and wife besides a child. In the evening, when the child is sleeping, do not force yourself to prepare an entertainment program for him tomorrow. Allow yourself to do your hobby, or just sit in silence. From the fact that you spend the whole evening on the Internet, in search of new games, the child will not feel better. Children love everything simple. And ordinary hide and seek and rejoicing will be no less happy. A lot of positive emotions will give you a vacation outside the home. Therefore, if there is such an opportunity, grandparents can sit with the child, use it immediately.
4. Respect your child
Parents often complain that their child is disrespectful to them. But all this comes from childhood. It is worth evaluating your attitude to the child, because he is the same person as an adult. However, they are often referred to as second-class people. No one asks their opinion. The child grows up either arrogant and rude, or quiet and clogged. From childhood, teach your child to think that he is a person. Tell him that his opinion matters to you. Discuss his purchases with him, ask for his opinion on the relocation in the room. Let your child feel that his opinions are considered to be really important to you.
3. Do not love your child too much
All parents love their children, but some show their love not quite right. They treat him with constant condescension, their expectations are underestimated. “Got a deuce?” It's not your fault. It’s Maria Sergeyevna who doesn’t like you, but you’re smart! ”Says such a mother to her lazy son, who has not learned his homework again. Parents who love their child wish him the best. They will try to grow a worthy person.
2. Educate children on their own
Raising a child on his own is very important. You must teach him to serve himself in a domestic way. Teach him to tidy up, warm up lunch, shop at the store. Independence in such everyday affairs will help him to feel more confident. And you can easily leave the grown-up child alone at home. Nowadays, there are frequent cases when a 6th grade student cannot independently warm his own lunch. Teach your child to make decisions. Give him a choice, for example, which club to go to. Let him decide for himself. But when he makes a choice, do not dispute it. And then the next time he will have no desire to choose, if you do not listen to his opinion.
1. Patience at the limit is normal
Do not try to become perfect parents. Remember that patience is the limit - this is a completely normal condition. You may have thoughts that you are bad parents, that you don’t love a child and are raising a child incorrectly. Do not scold, do not reproach yourself. Such thoughts are common to everyone. Bear with a little more. Think about how soon your child will grow up. You no longer have to put him to bed and check your homework. Then you do not want to endure, you will live every moment with pleasure. Children grow up so fast.